May 2011

May 1st! Happy 2 Months!

May started off wonderfully. Emersyn celebrated her two month mark in Utah. Chris had a sports medicine conference in Utah so we road-tripped and stayed with my parents for five days. Emersyn was fabulous on the drive. We would stop to feed and she slept soundly in between.

We broke up the drive by staying in Mesquite overnight in some ratty motel 6. Emersyn slept in the elephant chair next to my side of the bed. We realized just how much of a princess she while at the motel. She was laying on the the bed wrapped up in a Minky Couture blanket but her head was on the sheets on the bed. She kept rubbing her head back and forth like she was uncomfortable. I pulled the Minky blanket up under her head and she immediately stopped moving and fell asleep.

With the trip to Utah being her first introduction to the rest of the family, and her being used to a more solitary lifestyle with me and her in the small apartment all day, the full days of meeting family members and friends was exhausting (for her and me). Aunts, uncles and grandparents wanted to have her awake so they could see the smiles she was more freely giving. Not being able to sleep when she wanted made for a cranky baby come bedtime. However, once Emersyn was finally asleep she slept well for most of the night only waking up once or twice to feed. Despite the fatigue, all of the socialization was good for her and she seemed eager to play.

Because we were going to be around family, and the timing seemed the best, we took the opportunity to give Emersyn a name and a blessing. We had decided about a month before that this is what we were going to do and sent out invitations. With the short notice we only invited Chris' parents to the blessing, but Molly and Ryan would be visiting them in Arizona and so couldn't come.

I was thinking Chris would be nervous about what to say and how to go about the blessing, but our ward in California had a lot of births and baby blessings so Chris was well aware of how everything was supposed to go. I was impressed at his preparation and thoughtfulness as Chris prepared himself for Emersyn's special day. My mother was fabulous and prepared food and treats for family members that would be coming over following sacrament meeting. I had fun with the decorations - making everything pink and girly in honor of our sweet baby.

I was so appreciative of the level of support from friends and family that showed up for the blessing. Opa looked frail and much more thin than I remembered seeing him at Christmas. It was hard to see someone once so strong and capable be so restricted. I thanked him for coming and he said he wouldn't have missed it for the world. He was able to be in the priesthood circle along with the rest of the men in the family. I hadn't realized at the time that even Alex, who had long denounced the church, participated.

Chris' blessing was perfect and everything I would have blessed Emersyn with and more. Thought I didn't write everything down there were some things that stood out. Chris blessed her to be healthy, which I felt very important, and he blessed her to be curious, which I loved. Sadly, I thought that someone else was recording it for me - had I known I would have written it down myself. I think Emersyn can know that her father blessed her with every good thing we would wish for her and the ability to overcome whatever trials may come her way. Chris and I both bore our testimonies, as is typical of the parents of the blessed children, but I understand more why. It is because you are full of the spirit and you want to share it. Chris' testimony focused on the reality of the gospel and Christ and how his scientific knowledge and experience only backs up what religion teaches. I shared my testimony of eternal families and how it brought me strength and comfort knowing our family would be together always and that Emersyn will always be my daughter and be with me. It is my favorite doctrine of the LDS church.

After the blessing everyone gathered at my mom's house for some yummy treats. I had to steal away for a bit to feed Emersyn and with so many people there I missed talking to so many people. Emersyn was a good baby and endured the passing around pretty well. It was the first time I wasn't completely aware of exactly where she was. The whole experience of blessing Emersyn was totally perfect.

Our trip to Utah ended quickly and we turned west back to our apartment in California. Emersyn was a little more fussy on the drive back, but still was a stellar road-tripper nonetheless.

A couple of days after our arrival back in California Emersyn had her two month appointment to get her two month shots. She only cried for a little bit once the shots were done. A pacifier quickly quieted her and I gave her some Tylenol. For the rest of the day she was a little sleepy and sulky, but that was to be expected. I was surprised when she had a fever of 101.4 later that night. Tylenol quickly brought the temp down. I figured it might take a couple of days for her to start feeling better, but I would say 4 or 5 days passed before she really recovered. The upside to getting shots is that she started sleeping through the night. That first night after she got her shots I woke up at 6 and was surprised that we both had slept the whole night. I was more worried than rested, though. I woke Emersyn up to feed her before anything exploded and then she quickly went back to sleep. This happened for the next few days. She was spending the whole night in the swing, which I didn't really mind since she was sleeping, but I wasn't looking forward to the transition to the crib.

On Mother's day it was fun to have added a new holiday to our list of days to celebrate. Chris gave me the perfect gift - a Kindle so that I could read and breastfeed without struggling to hold a book open and then losing my page when Emersyn started choking or pulled off. Emersyn was dressed in a cute outfit Nana Lala had given her. Because of how quickly she was now growing I think this was the only time she wore it.

Emersyn enjoyed sitting up in the Bumbo chair. She liked to look around and get a better view of the world. Although she liked she had some good times on the jungle mobile floor mat, she seemed to relish a new perspective. As everyone always says, she is so alert and seems to take everything in.

Emersyn started blowing bubbles and making raspberries. Chris and I loved seeing the developmental milestones appear, even if it means the drool quotient increased remarkably.

As I started feeling better I was anxious to get out doing my previous activities. Adding a child to the mix made scheduling play time more difficult. Thanks to a wonderful and selfless husband we were able to help each other do the things we enjoyed. To be able to go mountain biking Chris would sit in the car and watch Emersyn while I rode our California version of Trappers Loop. Once I was done we would switch. Emersyn usually slept or ate while we were waiting.

Along with finding time to exercise, going out to dinner had an added element. We had to time things right to that I wouldn't have to feed Emersyn while we were at the restaurant. We usually ended up going to dinner rather early and we always made sure to get a booth that could accommodate the carseat. On my birthday we got Emersyn all dressed up and we had an elderly 5 o'clock dinner at the Cheesecake Factory.

Emersyn seemed to quickly gain control of her head and neck, despite her dislike of tummy-time. She was able to sit steadily with me only holding her hands, and then go from that sitting position to a standing one. This became a new game of up - downs.

Chris and I got in the habit of regularly sending photos of Emersyn to my mom and family. She asked for them and seemed to appreciate getting them so she got one every two or three days. One day I sent a photo to a bunch of my family and joked about Emersyn's baby cleavage. One number I thought was my dad's replied that they didn't know who I was and asked who had just sent them a picture message. Big ooops.

Favorite pictures from the month of May

April

While Chris' mom was here she was wonderful at understanding a new mother's concerns. I still was working on being comfortable with breastfeeding and it seemed to take some effort to get Emersyn to complete a feed without falling asleep or being fidgety. I wasn't comfortable feeding in front of anyone but Chris and definitely avoid the chance of a public feeding at all costs. However, one day we ventured to visit Chris at one of the biking events he was covering. It had taken us longer than expected to get there and not long after hanging around Emersyn woke up and wanted to feed. Being in a huge crowd of people, with our car parked far down the street I started to panic as to where I could go. There were many suggestions as finding a place for me to feed became a group effort: I could go to a booth in a restaurant, I could use the medical tent, I could use the bathroom at a local pizza place, etc. I quickly became frustrated and embarrassed. This was exactly the type of incident and was trying to avoid. However, I opted for the bathroom at the pizza place. It ended up working great, except for the people outside who had to wait the 15 minutes while Emi and I did our business.

Chris' mom was also very understanding as I wasn't too keen on going out and shopping or being at stores. Emersyn's feeding schedule was still pretty erratic and so I was too stressed thinking that we would be out shopping and she would wake up and I would have to feed right then. I really didn't want to have to feed in the car with Chris' mom sitting right there so we spent most of our time at the apartment and going on walks around the complex.

The one month old mark came so fast. Emersyn started growing faster than ever. I didn't realize just how quickly babies actually sprout up. My mom told me that Emersyn wouldn't be wearing her newborn clothes very long. I didn't believe her since Emersyn stayed so small for the first two weeks I thought she was going to be tiny forever. By the time Chris' mom had left Emersyn had almost surpassed the outfits she had bought for her.

For the first month I was more than happy to simply sit and hold Emersyn all day, even while she slept. But as I was feeling better I wanted to get some things done during the day and I found that Emersyn was a little needy. I couldn't just set her down while she was awake and have her be okay by herself. She wanted to be held while she was awake or she would start crying and fussing. I tried to solve this problem by getting a sling. The first time I used it she seemed very cozy and I felt like my problems were solved. However, any attempt to get Emi in the sling after the first time she wasn't a fan and would start crying and kicking to get out.

We continued with the picture taking, finding every new movement or face exciting. We were sure to send them to my mom and family very frequently.

The outfit Papa brought back from Argentina. It fit the day we got it and she quickly grew out of it. You can see that Emersyn was starting to smile quite a bit and was readily responding to our voices. It was so much fun seeing her become interactive.

Since Emi mostly slept during the day, we loved to watch her. She still wasn't too keen on straightening out her legs completely. She liked to have them tucked up close to her.

Daddy loved to get pictures any time, especially trying to catch new and fun faces.

One of our favorite items of clothing, and Emersyn's typical pajama outfits were the layettes, or 'bags' as we so elegantly termed them. They provided easy access for diaper changes and had little mitts that kept the hands warm. In watching Emersyn squirm around and kick while wearing them I found that her movements were what I must have been feeling while she was still in my tummy.

Emersyn quickly grew out of the tub in the sink. We found a much more comfortable and easier to use baby tub that would accommodate her as she got bigger. Bath time now moved from the bathroom sink to the kitchen sink. Emersyn was very good and seemed to enjoy the tub as long as we could keep her warm.

At the end of the month Chris and I packed up everything for ourselves as well as Emersyn and headed to Utah for a sports medicine conference based out of Salt Lake City. We took it as an opportunity to visit family, introduce Emersyn, take our first family road-trip vacation, and have some neat experiences. Driving from California to Utah takes about 11 hours non-stop. We decided to break up the drive by stopping in Mesquite on the way out. We knew that Emersyn was a princess, but we didn't realize just how much until we saw how necessary her luxurious Minky Couture blankets were. While we were stopped in Mesquite I had Emi wrapped in a Minky blanket, but her head was on the sheets. She kept tossing her head from side to side as she tried to get comfortable enough to fall asleep. I nonchalantly pulled the Minky blanket up under head to get it off the sheets and immediately she turn her head to one side, snuggled in and fell asleep.

Emersyn was fabulous during the drive: sleeping quietly in her carseat only waking up when it was time to eat. Which, we had to do while I was sitting in the car parked at the back of some parking lot. I started to get pretty good at breastfeeding in tight quarters and changing diapers on my lap. The next day we woke up and drove to St. George, with Chris narrowly avoiding a massive speeding ticket, and parked the car at the bottom of Snow Canyon, one of our favorite bike rides. Our biking experiences had changed drastically since Emersyn was born. We would take turns, one person biking while the other sat in the car and watched Emersyn. It's a change, but at least we could get out and ride. We got to Utah just in time to meet the family for dinner to celebrate Jan's graduation from dental hygiene school. Grandma D was more than happy to hold and enjoy her granddaughter that she had missed so much over the last two months.

Our time in Utah was pretty short so we maximized it by seeing almost everyone we felt necessary. Emersyn was a wonderful baby and played happily with everyone who held her and talked in a high-pitched voice trying to get a smile. There was so much stimulation she didn't get very many naps during the day and was pretty irritable at night. But when she slept, she slept and I was able to get a few longer stretches than usual. Grandma D had set up a pack-n-play for her crib and she seemed to sleep pretty well at night.

March

Back at home

Some of the first few days of life at the apartment

My mom made sure we felt special upon leaving the hospital and getting home. She had scoured the apartment with bleach, cleaned everything that could possibly be cleaned and stocked the fridge, and even bought flowers balloons and made a sign.

Following the return to the apartment it took some real time to get back into the swing of things. Thankfully Chris was able to get some time off of work and take a few extra mornings off so that we could get some sleep. When people told you that you don't get sleep with a newborn, they weren't kidding. I never realized just how little you got. Because we had to set an alarm and get up and feed using the supplemental nursing system we were getting one hour stretches of sleep. The supplementing took extra time and the feeds were a real struggle. As terrible as it is that he wasn't getting sleep either, I was glad that Chris was with me each time we had to get up.

I felt like I was in a complete fog. My entire body hurt from the birth and I was tired and emotional. Each night I would tear up, not wanting the night to come, knowing it wouldn't bring any reprieve from the discomforts of the day. We had to take Emersyn in to be weighed the day after we brought her home and then again the following Monday. Chris was with me and he did everything while I sat there like a zombie. Her first appointment she weighed only 6 lbs 6 oz. She was a real cutie and peed on the scale. We had come completely unprepared. We hadn't mastered the diaper bag yet and hadn't brought a single thing with us. We now knew that we needed to pack extra diapers. The second weigh-in she had gained again and was at 6 lbs, 8 oz. This time she peed on the scale and on her outfit. We had come prepared with extra diapers, but not a change of clothes. We were learning and remembered the next time to bring an extra outfit.

Emersyn was gaining weight, but slowly. Using the supplemental nursing system (SNS) was cumbersome and took a long time. We had to continue to set an alarm and keep her feeds 2-3 hours apart until she reached her birth weight. It was extremely exhausting. Everyone said to sleep while your baby sleeps, but with my mother here I didn't feel like I could leave her and Chris sitting in the apartment while I napped and we seemed to stay up even later than usual. I definitely wasn't getting my sleep. At least Emersyn was getting hers.

Chris was the typical first time parent taking masses of pictures to capture each new moment, facial expression, and experience.

We loved to hold Emersyn, cuddle with her, be with her, and everything she did was amazing and beautiful to us. We were in awe of this new being, that it was something we had created and were responsible for. At the same time it was daunting. Emersyn had lost so much weight and without much muscle tone she felt so fragile. Along with her physical well being we recognized the responsibility of all of her other needs as well. We would pray each night that we would be up to the task.

After having a baby I didn't realize how difficult it was to simply walk. I thought to myself that being nine months pregnant felt better than the postpartum discomforts. I spent a few days doing nothing but trying to find a comfortable spot on the couch. Even sitting was painful. My start back into the active life was walking with Emersyn in the stroller around the apartment complex. Emersyn slept through her first walk in the stroller.

I had a hard time being dormant so after a couple of weeks I jumped back on the elliptical. Getting the heart rate up and sweating a little bit is always so therapeutic. Over the next month I would try to get out once a day and walk around the complex. It was good to get some sunshine and being active always seems to help aid recovery. Over time I got so I could do a couple of laps around the complex and my speed picked up with each walk.

My dad had a conference in Las Vegas the weekend after Emersyn was born. He changed plans a little bit so he could come and spend a couple of days meeting his new granddaughter.

I was so thankful to my mom for coming to help with Emersyn. Even with her torn ACL she managed to act as if nothing had happened. My mom is the type of person who knows exactly what is helpful and what isn't. She sanitized the whole apartment before we brought Emersyn home. She cooked wonderful meals, did laundry, ran to the store, and helped us learn how to be parents. The last couple of nights she was a hero and would take Emersyn after the middle of the night feedings and get her to go back to sleep so Chris and I could go right back to bed. I don't think she slept for two nights straight.

It was fun to watch Emersyn discover new things. Her hands would wander to her face and her hands seemed so interested in the new things it was feeling, but couldn't get the connection that she was touching herself and that her fingers were in her eyes.

I was really glad my mom was around to help us figure out the most simple things, like bath time. We were very tentative with our fragile baby about how to go about it. We couldn't believe our baby could actually fit in the sink. So tiny.

Emersyn was a big fan of swaddling and would quickly fall asleep when wrapped tightly. However, I think her favorite position to sleep in was to have her arms straight up next to her head.

Every now and then she would find her way out of one of the sleeves.

Though I think it is frowned upon, one of the places that Emersyn seemed to sleep the best was in the 'elephant chair'. I assume that she liked the coziness of it as opposed to her crib, but it may also have something to do with some mild reflux.

Sometimes her headband would work it's way down around her eyes and she would squirm and grunt because she couldn't see.

Happy St. Patricks Day! Emersyn wore this outfit for about two hours before she pooped and I had to change her.

At three weeks old a friend of our took some newborn photos of Emersyn. We thought we would start out with diaperless pictures, but being uncovered did not suit Emersyn. She cried and cried and was not happy about the nakedness. I tried feeding her, which I was very nervous about since I had never breastfed outside of our own apartment. I don't know if it was my tenseness or something I ate, but Emersyn spit up pretty much everything she swallowed. She did get a little something in her tummy and we swaddled her up tight which made her much more pleased.

Emersyn was born with bilateral preauricular ear pits. A benign and common occurrence that affects a large portion of people.

Emersyn started to get fussy after a while. I had no idea how long it would take for newborn pictures, but you have to move slowly so the babies cooperate. As Emersyn got more sleepy the picture taking became easier. I have a hard time picking out my favorites.

The month of March seemed to whiz by. Chris was back to work before long and I was at home trying to figure out how to be a mom. Chris seemed to function pretty well with the help of Red Bulls and 5 Hour Energies. I was in a constant state of fatigue. I always heard that you don't get sleep with a newborn, but I don't think anyone can understand the level of sleep deprivation until you experience it. I felt like I had joined a club and let in on the big secret of just how tired a person can be and still seem to function. Everyone told us to hold out until 6 weeks and it should get better, 8 at the most.

Favorite pictures from Emersyn's first month of life

I crocheted a few hats for Emersyn, this was one of my favorites, before she tried it on. I thought it was supposed to be more of a beanie, but it is a clochet which is a hat that sits on the top of the head and doesn't cover the ears. It was too big anyway.