March

Back at home

Some of the first few days of life at the apartment

My mom made sure we felt special upon leaving the hospital and getting home. She had scoured the apartment with bleach, cleaned everything that could possibly be cleaned and stocked the fridge, and even bought flowers balloons and made a sign.

Following the return to the apartment it took some real time to get back into the swing of things. Thankfully Chris was able to get some time off of work and take a few extra mornings off so that we could get some sleep. When people told you that you don't get sleep with a newborn, they weren't kidding. I never realized just how little you got. Because we had to set an alarm and get up and feed using the supplemental nursing system we were getting one hour stretches of sleep. The supplementing took extra time and the feeds were a real struggle. As terrible as it is that he wasn't getting sleep either, I was glad that Chris was with me each time we had to get up.

I felt like I was in a complete fog. My entire body hurt from the birth and I was tired and emotional. Each night I would tear up, not wanting the night to come, knowing it wouldn't bring any reprieve from the discomforts of the day. We had to take Emersyn in to be weighed the day after we brought her home and then again the following Monday. Chris was with me and he did everything while I sat there like a zombie. Her first appointment she weighed only 6 lbs 6 oz. She was a real cutie and peed on the scale. We had come completely unprepared. We hadn't mastered the diaper bag yet and hadn't brought a single thing with us. We now knew that we needed to pack extra diapers. The second weigh-in she had gained again and was at 6 lbs, 8 oz. This time she peed on the scale and on her outfit. We had come prepared with extra diapers, but not a change of clothes. We were learning and remembered the next time to bring an extra outfit.

Emersyn was gaining weight, but slowly. Using the supplemental nursing system (SNS) was cumbersome and took a long time. We had to continue to set an alarm and keep her feeds 2-3 hours apart until she reached her birth weight. It was extremely exhausting. Everyone said to sleep while your baby sleeps, but with my mother here I didn't feel like I could leave her and Chris sitting in the apartment while I napped and we seemed to stay up even later than usual. I definitely wasn't getting my sleep. At least Emersyn was getting hers.

Chris was the typical first time parent taking masses of pictures to capture each new moment, facial expression, and experience.

We loved to hold Emersyn, cuddle with her, be with her, and everything she did was amazing and beautiful to us. We were in awe of this new being, that it was something we had created and were responsible for. At the same time it was daunting. Emersyn had lost so much weight and without much muscle tone she felt so fragile. Along with her physical well being we recognized the responsibility of all of her other needs as well. We would pray each night that we would be up to the task.

After having a baby I didn't realize how difficult it was to simply walk. I thought to myself that being nine months pregnant felt better than the postpartum discomforts. I spent a few days doing nothing but trying to find a comfortable spot on the couch. Even sitting was painful. My start back into the active life was walking with Emersyn in the stroller around the apartment complex. Emersyn slept through her first walk in the stroller.

I had a hard time being dormant so after a couple of weeks I jumped back on the elliptical. Getting the heart rate up and sweating a little bit is always so therapeutic. Over the next month I would try to get out once a day and walk around the complex. It was good to get some sunshine and being active always seems to help aid recovery. Over time I got so I could do a couple of laps around the complex and my speed picked up with each walk.

My dad had a conference in Las Vegas the weekend after Emersyn was born. He changed plans a little bit so he could come and spend a couple of days meeting his new granddaughter.

I was so thankful to my mom for coming to help with Emersyn. Even with her torn ACL she managed to act as if nothing had happened. My mom is the type of person who knows exactly what is helpful and what isn't. She sanitized the whole apartment before we brought Emersyn home. She cooked wonderful meals, did laundry, ran to the store, and helped us learn how to be parents. The last couple of nights she was a hero and would take Emersyn after the middle of the night feedings and get her to go back to sleep so Chris and I could go right back to bed. I don't think she slept for two nights straight.

It was fun to watch Emersyn discover new things. Her hands would wander to her face and her hands seemed so interested in the new things it was feeling, but couldn't get the connection that she was touching herself and that her fingers were in her eyes.

I was really glad my mom was around to help us figure out the most simple things, like bath time. We were very tentative with our fragile baby about how to go about it. We couldn't believe our baby could actually fit in the sink. So tiny.

Emersyn was a big fan of swaddling and would quickly fall asleep when wrapped tightly. However, I think her favorite position to sleep in was to have her arms straight up next to her head.

Every now and then she would find her way out of one of the sleeves.

Though I think it is frowned upon, one of the places that Emersyn seemed to sleep the best was in the 'elephant chair'. I assume that she liked the coziness of it as opposed to her crib, but it may also have something to do with some mild reflux.

Sometimes her headband would work it's way down around her eyes and she would squirm and grunt because she couldn't see.

Happy St. Patricks Day! Emersyn wore this outfit for about two hours before she pooped and I had to change her.

At three weeks old a friend of our took some newborn photos of Emersyn. We thought we would start out with diaperless pictures, but being uncovered did not suit Emersyn. She cried and cried and was not happy about the nakedness. I tried feeding her, which I was very nervous about since I had never breastfed outside of our own apartment. I don't know if it was my tenseness or something I ate, but Emersyn spit up pretty much everything she swallowed. She did get a little something in her tummy and we swaddled her up tight which made her much more pleased.

Emersyn was born with bilateral preauricular ear pits. A benign and common occurrence that affects a large portion of people.

Emersyn started to get fussy after a while. I had no idea how long it would take for newborn pictures, but you have to move slowly so the babies cooperate. As Emersyn got more sleepy the picture taking became easier. I have a hard time picking out my favorites.

The month of March seemed to whiz by. Chris was back to work before long and I was at home trying to figure out how to be a mom. Chris seemed to function pretty well with the help of Red Bulls and 5 Hour Energies. I was in a constant state of fatigue. I always heard that you don't get sleep with a newborn, but I don't think anyone can understand the level of sleep deprivation until you experience it. I felt like I had joined a club and let in on the big secret of just how tired a person can be and still seem to function. Everyone told us to hold out until 6 weeks and it should get better, 8 at the most.

Favorite pictures from Emersyn's first month of life

I crocheted a few hats for Emersyn, this was one of my favorites, before she tried it on. I thought it was supposed to be more of a beanie, but it is a clochet which is a hat that sits on the top of the head and doesn't cover the ears. It was too big anyway.